In recent days, friendship has seemed to take on a different connotation. Relationships are so easily tossed aside and it makes me wonder if it was even a real friendship to begin with. Coming up, I had friends that really held each other down and those people are still my best friends today. We are a tight-knit unit of brothers and yet we were also enablers of our worst traits. There was no real voice of truth in our circle, we just followed what the culture deemed fitting for any given situation. Looking back, I see how lost we were. It was the blind leading the blind. Most of us didn’t have the strong and attentive father figure we needed to help guide us through life as young men of color. Clinging to each other helped us stay out of trouble for the most part. The times when trouble couldn’t be avoided we were in the trenches together ready for war. As friends and as brothers we were and always will be there for one another. As we get older and our families grow, the time we spend together diminishes, but our bond does not.

“A friend loves at all times, and a brother is for adversity.” -Proverbs 17:17-

I started by saying that the meaning of friendship has changed recently and I stand by that statement. Just yesterday, I’m at the park and two “friends” were playing basketball on the opposite court and one punches the other out of the blue. Granted they were about 13-16 years old, but that’s not an excuse for that behavior especially if you claim to be friends. I too had a temper when I was younger, but we would usually find a way to work it out before it came to violence. I thank God for everyone that has ever been in my life no matter the season. Every person that God allows to come into your life teaches you something about life and more importantly about yourself. The world we live in is highly selfish and competitive, yet my friends and I were able to conquer through the darkness of that fact. How many of you can say that you are still best friends with your best friends? The bible tells us to hold each other accountable for the things we do and say. “Iron sharpens iron, so one man sharpens another.” Proverbs 27:17. Are we really keeping our friends on their toes spiritually and morally? These are tough questions to ask and hard conversations to have, but they ultimately allow your relationships to flourish and grow.

“If either of them falls down, one can help the other up. But pity anyone who falls and has no one to help them up” -Ecclesiastes 4:10-

As I grow in my faith, I see how wrong I have been in my approach to friendship. More often than not I would go with the flow instead of being the voice of reason. I thought it was helpful to keep them comfortable with their decisions even if I knew it would be detrimental to them. Now I challenge any decision they make that would cause them pain or grief. Though it doesn’t make me the life of the party I can’t worry about that, because I’m more concerned with your ultimate future. Jesus Christ was very straight forward with his disciples when he had to be. Take the last supper for instance, when Peter told Jesus he would never deny him, But Jesus replied he would deny Him three times before the rooster crows. I paraphrased so check out Matthew 26:33-35 to learn more. Sometimes your friends tell you things you don’t want to hear, not because they want to hurt you but because you need to hear it. To steer you away from disaster simply because they love you. I want to be that friend that always helps in times of need because Jesus is always there when I’m down and out.

“And then many will fall away and betray one another and hate one another. And many false prophets will arise and lead many astray. And because lawlessness will be increased, the love of many will grow cold. But the one who endures to the end will be saved.” -Matthew 24:10-13-

One of the hardest parts of friendship is walking away from them, especially when you really love that person. When someone is really your friend they become your family and the moment you realize that you have to cut ties, it’s heartbreaking. It feels like pieces of you are fading away, but sometimes where you’re going they can’t follow. There are places God will call you to go and your friends aren’t meant to go with you. You still love them, sure but as we grow and change some folks remain tethered to who they were and how things used to be. Being reborn in Christ gives you a new outlook on the world around you and how to navigate old waters with a new purpose. Some of your friends won’t understand that. Your journey to the light will illuminate the darkness in all your lives and it will feel like an attack on their way of life. It will cause friction between the closest of friends and some might not make it. Continue to love those who turn away from you, as hard as it may be your paths are now different. Jesus is the one friend who will never walk away from you once you accept him.

Thank you for taking some time out of your busy day to read this post. I appreciate your support. Remember that friendship is an important part of life. God bless and don’t forget to Chase your Way/ve.