How can I tell you how much it pains me

When you’re constantly saying how I should be

The shame I feel for failing to meet your expectations

Is like doing everything you asked and never getting any validation

I’m on my hands and knees trying to get your approval

But the only thing I see in your eyes is a spirit of refusal

Even though I’ve seen this plan to keep me distracted

I can’t help but fall into it maybe it has something to do with the laughing

I hear it everywhere I go its rattling my bones

so I harden my heart until it resembles a stone

Your’e the only one that can make blood come from it

You’ve shown me the heights I can achieve, but when I reach I begin to plummet

So what’s the endgame? why do you want me focused on your “love”

Maybe it’s because you have no depth inside or out, below or above

Your’e happy with me giving up my soul for frivolous things

Then at the end of it all we’ll share time in the fiery clink

Separated from the one that really and truly loved me

The one who gave his love and grace so freely

So why in the world should I settle for you giving shame and disapproval

Why shouldn’t I plant my knees to ground and pray for your removal

Lord Forgive me, for I have sinned against you

I turned a blind eye to what you proclaimed to be true

In my heart and with my mouth I acknowledge that Jesus is king

Help me my Lord, I repent of doing and thinking wicked things

Jesus you have saved my soul!

Jesus you have made me whole!!

The weight of my past kept me locked in place, seeing the world myopically

You, Jesus, have cured my blindness and I can tell you how much it pained me.