My God, my God… why hast Thou forsaken me?
Honestly—
I know You haven’t.
But sometimes… that’s exactly how it feels, you see?

Sometimes the storms feel never-ending.
Every gust, every blow—
Debris hits again and again,
and my faith feels like it’s shedding layer after layer,
thin… fragile… unraveling.

I’m tired of being looked at like I don’t belong.
This problem is multi-layered,
been going on for way too long.

And yeah—
I know my circumstances shouldn’t dictate my emotions.
But here I am,
treading water
in the middle of a hate ocean.

My head’s barely above the waves.
I don’t know if I can hold out much longer.
I look down into the void,
and all I see is my body
submerged in darkness.

Everything this world offers
feels like it’s drowning me.
The air I need—
my peace,
my hope,
my joy—
all of it feels the farthest from me.

I can feel the icy claw of death
closing around my heart.
My eyes grow heavy…
the deep pulls me in…
and just as I’m about to sink—

something starts.

A light.
Growing.
Glowing.
Brighter—
bathing me
in much-needed warmth.

And suddenly the waters loosen.
Their cold grip breaks.
My lungs remember breath.
My soul remembers song.
And maybe—
just maybe—
I was held the whole time,
even when everything felt wrong.

The glow becomes a hand—
steady, gentle,
scarred with love—
reaching into the deep
like a promise sent from above.

It doesn’t yank or tear me upward.
It lifts me
with grace,
as if whispering,
“Beloved… I never left.
Your tears were on My face.”

The storm still roars around me—
but something shifts within.
The darkness retreats
like it knows
it cannot win.

The hate ocean fades.
The waves bow down
as if ashamed
they ever tried to take me.

And as I rise,
dripping with the residue
of the battles I’ve survived—
I finally see the truth:

Even in the void,
the One who made the seas
was holding me.
Even in the silence,
He heard every broken plea.
Forsaken was a feeling—
never my reality.

So here I stand—
breathing,
beating,
revived.
The world expected my drowning.

But by His light—
I survived.